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i am not evil
20 most recent entries

Date:2004-06-30 17:38
Subject:finding stuff is fun
Mood: amused

1. Who I really am: I have always believed myself to be a royal prince snatched from his golden cradle by a band of rogue suburbanites.

2. Who I aspire to be: A vengeful king.

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Date:2004-06-13 01:15
Mood: dorky

And now to end this ride with a fitting verse...

"Fear less, hope more, eat less, chew more, whine less, breathe more, talk less, say more, hate less, love more, and all good things will be yours."

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Date:2004-06-11 22:16
Subject:Hammamet here I come
Mood: devious

Update on the vacation. We're adding another week to our trek. We're now going to Tunisia (north Africa) for the last week. My parents decided to go back there after not having been there in a while. Lots of sun, desert and right on the clear blue waters of the Med. We're flying there on Alitalia, awesome!

Ronald Reagan died this past week, sadly. I don't agree with all he had done, but in the end he was a great man. He rose from a life of abuse and neglect to become loved on stage and screen... and then to become president of the greatest country on earth (there are some people who'd beg to differ on that point).

A few quotes from a man who will always be remembered, Ronald Reagan:

"Abortion is advocated only by persons who have themselves been born."

"Are you willing to spend time studying the issues, making yourself aware, and then conveying that information to family and friends? Will you resist the temptation to get a government handout for your community? Realize that the doctor's fight against socialized medicine is your fight. We can't socialize the doctors without socializing the patients. Recognize that government invasion of public power is eventually an assault upon your own business. If some among you fear taking a stand because you are afraid of reprisals from customers, clients, or even government, recognize that you are just feeding the crocodile hoping he'll eat you last."

"It's time we asked ourselves if we still know the freedoms intended for us by the Founding Fathers. James Madison said, "We base all our experiments on the capacity of mankind for self-government." This idea that government was beholden to the people, that it had no other source of power, is still the newest, most unique idea in all the long history of man's relation to man. This is the issue of this election: Whether we believe in our capacity for self-government or whether we abandon the American Revolution and confess that a little intellectual elite in a far-distant capital can plan our lives for us better than we can plan them ourselves."

"I call upon the scientific community in our country, those who gave us nuclear weapons, to turn their great talents now to the cause of mankind and world peace: to give us the means of rendering these nuclear weapons impotent and obsolete."

"We don't have a trillion-dollar debt because we haven't taxed enough; we have a trillion-dollar debt because we spend too much."

"You and I are told we must choose between a left or right, but I suggest there is no such thing as a left or right. There is only an up or down. Up to man's age-old dream -- the maximum of individual freedom consistent with order -- or down to the ant heap of totalitarianism. Regardless of their sincerity, their humanitarian motives, those who would sacrifice freedom for security have embarked on this downward path. Plutarch warned, "The real destroyer of the liberties of the people is he who spreads among them bounties, donations and benefits."

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Date:2004-06-06 23:31
Subject:drive safely

The weather today was really poopy. Went driving around, fun. Eventually we landed at Eastside Marketplace. I noticed a kid in there (maybe 17) who had a very robotic way about him, right down to the way he turned his head. He was very rigid looking, but completely normal otherwise. I wondered what was going on with him. I thought he was alone, but later in the checkout line I saw him with an elderly man, probably his father. Anyways we left the market at the same time they did. I noticed when I got to my car (the volvo) that the kid stopped and was trying to talk, but he couldn't he was just pointing kinda and moaning something. I was like.. what the ....??? Anways, I backed out and proceeded to leave and the kid and the old guy he was with were parked a few spaces down and had an older volvo wagon, and I'm assuming he was moaning and all back there because he couldn't talk (ie something def wrong with him), but he was trying to point out my car (maybe he liked it?) to the old guy. Then as I drove away he was just standing beside his wagon staring at me in that robotic way from inside the market earlier. Kinda sad, I would never have guessed that he was that way. Kinda sad now that i'm looking back on it.. I feel bad for the kid, he probably has one hellish of a life :\ I hope not though.

This summer vacation will be uber nice... A week in Italy (Rome), and then we fly off to Greece (Rhodes-Ixia)

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Date:2004-05-28 22:42

back to reality...

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Date:2004-05-03 23:14

What if you were dating someone and then you found out they posted a personal profile online from a friend?

Yeah... exactly....



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Date:2004-04-30 22:56
Subject:my letter to Bennington and its magical journey!

Apr 30, 2004

12:53 pm Delivered BENNINGTON VT 
9:21 am On FedEx vehicle for delivery PITTSFIELD MA 

Apr 29, 2004

2:19 pm Delivery attempt BENNINGTON VT 
*Package not delivered/not attempted*
11:16 am Left FedEx Sort Facility NEWARK NJ   
11:16 am Left FedEx Sort Facility NEWARK NJ   
9:52 am Package status PITTSFIELD MA 
*Package at station - awaiting courier *
9:51 am On FedEx vehicle for delivery PITTSFIELD MA 
9:51 am Arrived at FedEx Destination Location PITTSFIELD MA 
7:43 am Expedited to Destination LATHAM NY   
6:24 am Arrived at FedEx Ramp LATHAM NY   
12:55 am Arrived at Sort Facility NEWARK NJ   
12:37 am Arrived at Sort Facility NEWARK NJ   
12:37 am Arrived at Sort Facility NEWARK NJ 

April 28, 2004

Shipped Payment Received WARWICK RI

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Date:2004-04-30 01:52
Mood: sad

I'm talking to you and you fell asleep. I must be that lame. You big fat drunken cock with your GPA worse than mine and you get into LAR! Why? Did you kiss ass? I think so. I can't stop the mail. FedEx managed to screw me over once again. How the hell does a letter manage to traverse 5 states in less than 24 hours and end up back where it started? I don't want to do what you want me to do. I want to love myself again. I'm happy when I'm feeding the ducks. I've disputed all the credit card charges from the school's that rejected me :] It's payback time. This time I reject you! Thanks for lying to me Mr. B******. I put so much effort into that portfolio and you can't even return my call, thanks, thanks thanks. Thanks Mary for totally making me feel like crap after I've taken you out twice a week with my grandmother for the past few years. You can't even say "THANK YOU," all you can do is throw money at me. I hate money. I HATE IT. THE LOVE OF MONEY IS THE ROOT OF ALL EVIL!! There is truth in that book called the Bible. I should bleach my hair tomorrow when I go to get it "styled." I've been watching "Are You Being Served?" for the past three nights before bed. He wants me to sleep over. I don't want to. I want to go home. I want to go home. Home isn't here. Home is there.

All done. I feel better now.

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Date:2004-04-26 21:42
Mood: full

I got two awful letters in the mail today. Can I cancel the mail? please? I'll go down to the post office tomorrow and ask.

I feel really shitty now that I know someone was using me. I don't appreciate it, at all. Go screw.

Excuses, Excuses. It's all bloody hell to me.

That being said, Friday was cool. Staying out late feels great. Sunday was relaxing... uber relaxing. This weekend will be fun too, whoo hoo. Monopoly marathon! Sleep!

My writing final has been driving me up the friggin wall. it's almost over though, yay!

BTW, I've moved to Christmas Island.

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Date:2004-04-22 19:04

I saw two bees kissing outside my window today. I saw my aunt Stella in her casket. She had a smile on her face. People, yes people, make getting an education harder than getting a mortgage. I found the Stanford Mixed Company cd which I thought that I had lost. Why did Lauryn Hill have to follow that cult dude and go into seclusion? I miss her talent. Her lyrics stir my soul. Zion and Ezra are nice names. I enclosed the "To Zion" lyrics by Lauryn Hill at the end of this post along with a poem that i just recently wrote. enjoy!

my body is tired
tired of walking to the door
only to find nobody home
my mind is tired
tired of searching for reason
but most of all
my heart is tired
tired of trying to love
tired of saying it's alright
tired of never seeing it right


To Zion

Unsure of what the balance held
I touched my belly overwhelmed
By what I had been chosen to perform
But then an angel came one day
Told me to kneel down and pray
For unto me a man child would be born
Woe this crazy circumstance
I knew his life deserved a chance
But everybody told me to be smart
Look at your career they said,
Lauryn, baby use your head
But instead I chose to use my heart

Now the joy of my world is in zion
Now the joy of my world is in zion

How beautiful if nothing more
Than to wait at zion’s door
I’ve never been in love like this before
Now let me pray to keep you from
The perils that will surely come
See life for you my prince has just begun
And I thank you for choosing me
To come through unto life to be
A beautiful reflection of his grace
For I know that a gift so great
Is only one God could create
And I’m reminded every time I see your face

That the joy of my world is in zion
Now the joy of my world is in zion
Now the joy of my world is in zion
Now the joy of my world is in zion

Marching, marching, marching to zion
Marching, marching
Marching, marching, marching to zion
Beautiful, beautiful zion

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Date:2004-04-21 07:56
Subject:right (oops), i mean left? PASSENGER!

woke up at 6:00, drove to volvo dealer, dropped off car to be fixed under certified warranty, possible anti-sway bar/strut problem, ECC failure.

i usually always get headaches when i wake up this early, tis not good. my (distant) aunt died this week, sadly. i'm about to engage is risky business. poke me. hard.

i have some new poems to post later. cool.

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Date:2004-04-21 07:55

UNVEILED AT THE Detroit Auto Show, four new systems from Volvo look set to maintain the Swedish marque's reputation for safety.

First to market will be BLIS (Blind Spot Information System), which is designed to avoid an accident by improving the driver's visibility. The system uses digital camera technology and a monitoring system to watch for vehicles in blind spots, alerting the driver when another vehicle enters the monitored zone.

Meanwhile, an advanced new system with brake support and automatic braking will help avoid rear-end shunts. The system constantly monitors the road ahead and, in the event of an imminent collision, alerts the driver and applies the brakes.

Volvo will also launch its own Adaptive Cruise Control. This automatically adjusts the car's speed when cruising to maintain a safe distance from the car in front.

Finally, the next-generation Volvo convertible will offer an IC (Inflatable Curtain) as part of Volvo's SIPS (Side Impact Protection System).

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Date:2004-04-17 11:10
Mood: accomplished

I feel totally drained from yesterday's visit to Bennington up in Vermont. It would have been much wiser if we had stayed the night, but I am happy nonetheless about my visit. The school itself looked somewhat like I had expected it to. My favorite building probably was the VAPA building, following by the library (i liked the feel). The tour was given to me by Humair (one of their architecture students). He is from Pakistan, but is going to school here in the US. The "dorms" weren't really dorms, but they were immaculate, especially the newer ones built in 01 by some famed Chinese architect. Honestly, I found the older dorms (houses) that were original to the school to be more visually appealing. I guess that's saying that I'm old fashioned. I asked so many questions on the tour that I had hardly any when it came time for the interview. The interview itself was quite relaxed, but I felt a bit nervous, and i think I let that show when i fumbled my words a few times. Bennington truly is a beautiful school set apart from reality in its own little dimension, but that's a good thing of course. They gave me a bunch of stuff to take home and pour over. That's probably what I'll be doing the entire weekend.

if anyone wants to check out Bennington you can do so here...


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Date:2004-04-13 19:49
Mood: hot

Sunday was a really great day. I really need to get up to Boston more often. I'm afraid I'll miss Boston one day if I don't stay close to it. Meh. Speaking of "meh," Matt told me that meh means sister in chinese or something. Maybe he was telling me a tale, he tends to do that often.

Oh yeah, Sunday was a great day. My folks and I ate at the Union Oyster House, good food and a good setting. We walked around the are for a while too. I should not have worn shorts, as it was too damn cold.

It's not fun spening 86 dollars on photo enlargements, but they sure look pretty. pretty like what i can't can't can't. why not can?

I want cookies, not the cookies in a wrapper, the homemade kinda cookies, make me some cookies, or just feel free to talk to me about cookies... ok? cookies are good. i'm good. i'm stupid. Au Bon Pain makes good cookies, are they homemade?

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Date:2004-04-11 14:44
Mood: chipper

My folks and I are heading up to Boston at this moment so I have to go... dinner at the Union Oyster House (i think?).

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Date:2004-04-08 10:33

The Rice testimony is quite interesting... too bad i can't watch the whole thing.

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Date:2004-04-05 14:41
Subject:MAY 1
Mood: amused

there once was a boy
who someday knew
that he would be born anew
ever striving for hope
a world around him dying
never a shortage of lying
unseen to this world
was life abounding
in his heart, in his mind
he was truly one of a kind
only now do we know
of this boy
who we dared not show
kept away
never worthy
his fate sealed
without a start

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Date:2004-04-01 17:56
Subject:can my ass be the subject of this post?

i'm okay
it's what i always say
by force, or by guilt
be that as it may
riddled with the pain
of just trying to be sane
i push harder and harder
to see how much i'm able to stand
even thogh you said i should fall
i'm unbelieveably standing tall
and alas, i'm okay

There's a lot of decisions I have to ponder this month. The main one I don't want to have to make, but I have to. I know it's going to hurt my close family, but my grandmother thinks it's best. I've been staying up at night thinking about the outcomes and what'll happen once I make that decision, but it'll be for the "best" as they say. I want to cry right now, but I have to go out to dinner...yeah, so much for emotion. Hopefully I won't see/hear anything overly depressing over dinner.

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Date:2004-04-01 01:50
Subject:make me ....?
Mood:I feel quite the fool

My mother bought some new low carb bread called "The Flying Pig." This is after she accused me of stealing half a loaf of her old low carb bread and feeding it to the ducks at the lake. I'm totally innocent... heh, I wish I wasn't this time.

My head really hurts right now.. too much too much....

bed time.

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Date:2004-03-29 19:39
Subject:set the ducks free!

The last few nights have been terrible for me. I've been lying in bed and just lamenting my entire life; I recall last night saying aloud, "That's it; you've won. Release me to my fate, for I've no will to fight any longer." I'll just sit back and watch the trees beneath the sickle-moon, and say what I always say when I see such natural beauty untainted by petty human bullshit - This is what you're fighting for. You're fighting to ensure the survival of that world of spirit and ephemeral power that no one notices, that supports us all, that so fragile network upon which we all rely every day unknowingly. I'll fight my own world to the death for the chance to walk the forests in peace; even if its only to be buried there, I'll know it was worth it.

Walk with me, if you will. I'll love you if you'll have me as I am, but I will never change my mind or my ways.

I'm William John Cavendish-Bentinck-Scott, the Fifth Duke of Portland!
Which Historical Lunatic Are You?
From the fecund loins of Rum and Monkey.

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